Good girl gone bad

I never tried flirting around. One night stands are not my kind of thing. I was never a player.I always take the game seriously. I was the type of girl who wanted the perfect relationship. I always dreamt of settling down with the person that I love the most. I even wanted to get married. Funny eh? But that's me.

Lately, I have come to discover a different side of me. I didnt know that I had a bitchy side. haha! Flirting may not be my forte but atleast Im getting the hang of it. I was uncomfortable at first, honest! But with a few tips, I was able to handle it. and I think Im starting to like it, Which scares me by the way because I dont want to be tagged as one of the bitches who jumps from one girl to another girl. Oh no, not my reputation..I dont wanna be the talk of the town. Earth to Jam! Snapping fingers.. back to reality.. wake me up?

Someone told me that I should be more liberated. Well FYI, I didnt grow up that way. As crazy as it may sound, but I am a conservative person. I dont kiss or cuddle unless I love-like the person. I dont exchange sweet nothings with a friend unless she is very close to me. Bottom line is, I just dont play around. Yes, I did it once...twice.. But you know what,I learned a valuable lesson.. Whats that? You flirt around, kiss every girl that you like.. But at the end of the day.. You're still alone.. You have nobody.. No Love..No fun..

You again..

i am jealous..i know i don't have any right to be..but seeing you with other girls..Just the thought of someone pursuing you..makes my heart bleed..

i am furious..because you don't see me..do i have to make unnecessary actions..childish acts..for you to notice me?Oh yeah,my bad..i forgot i am just a friend..so why bother right?

i can never tell you how much you mean to me.. hell no!would i gain anything if i do?you've already rejected me once remember?Just so you know, you wounded my heart..that hit me big time..

Call me chicken..But i will never admit my feelings for you..whats the point?I'm just a friend to you anyways..friends...good friends..yeah right..

Counting...

I have to say its almost two moths now.....

I am single.unattached.alone. Damn! I am so proud of myself. I never thought I would be able to handle it.I surpassed endless nights of longing and wishing to be with someone. I thought I would die living alone. But Hey, I am still alive and I'm still walking.

Now,I wake up with a smile on my face. I have learned to do things on my own. I have learned to love myself more. I am now enjoying my life. Going out with friends and meeting new faces. No need for guilt-free passes, im single.

Though the feeling haunts me from time to time, I have learned to divert my attention to other things.I owe it all to my friends. Their advices and constant reminders made me stronger. They're my multivitamins. Lol.

The wounds are almost healed. I am now a better person. In time I will find somone who'll love me unconditionally. But for now, I am gonna party like a rockstar! =)

xoxo

You..

I like you.
dont ask why.
I felt something when I met you.
It may not be sparks nor magic.
Its a tingling sensation I cannot define.


I want to be near you.
Sit next to you.
I want to see your smile.
Hear your laughter.
Just simply look at you.



I want to love you.
But your giving me reasons not to.
Maybe because the feeling aint mutual.
You just see me as one of you buddies.
A sister.
Your friend.

I miss you.
Things are changing now.
You're so near, yet so far.
I just want you to know that Im still here.
Id rather have you as my friend than not having you at all.

C U when I C U..

I am sitting.

I am waiting.

I am becoming impatient.

I am getting bored.

I am having a hard time figuring out what is taking you so long.

I am not desperate.

Just a little lonely.

I envy those who found love.

I am jealous.

All I can do is stare.

Though I am getting the hang of it.

Trying to cope with what is left inside me.

Enjoying every moment.

But at the back of my head.

I will always be wishing.

Thinking of you.

Dreaming that Ill soon see your face.

Feel the warmth of your embrace.

I'll see you when I see you...

-xoxo-