Araw mo ngayon..

REGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY..

Thanks for the friendship! Long live TATAMONS...

LOVE YAH ANAK....

Jam speaks about his father..

Did you know that Facebook can actually ruin a person's day?

I was checking my facebook account when I came across my biological father's page. He is in Manila right now, attending the graduation of my half sister.

I suddenly felt pain rushing inside me. I wanted to meet him personally. You know the Hi-I'm-your-first-daughter-kindda-thing (FYI he knows me, I know him). I made an effort to schedule a meet up when I was in CDO with the help of my mom's good friend/distant relative but he was not that cooperative. Okay, so giving the benefit of the doubt, I assumed that since he is a newly elected counselor he might be very busy. But hell, I was only asking a moment of his time and he didn't give it to me. Selfish. It's not like I am going to invade his life or ruin his family. Formality, that's what I told mom when she asked me why I wanted to meet him.

Going back, It just hurts to face the fact that he never really cared. Did I mention that he never even tried to communicate with me even once. Hello, I'm like turning 28 this September. Yes, ladies and gents I'm almost 28 and I have never met my dad.

I admit that I am angry at him for not having the balls to at least explain what had happened before. Why he turned his back on us. Why he abandoned us.

At this very moment I am starting to develop hatred against him. All I wanted is to meet him and know more about him. He already broke my heart many times. He doesn't CARE. I guess, I'll have to deal with that. But I am hoping one day he would realize everything. One day, when his old and can barely walk, he would remember that there was a child born last September 5, 1983 and that child is also her daughter.

Kame date.. kayo ngayon..

Nagbrobrowse ako nang mga pictures sa FB. Nag checheck nang mga taong nakalink sa mga kaibigan ko. Napaisip ako. Ang dami na palang lesbyana sa Pilipinas. Pabata nang pabata. Mapoporma. Gwapo kung titingnan. kanya kanya sila nang clan o grupo. Pati mga femme nag kalat. Ang dami na den palang nakikipag-on sa lesbyana ngayon. Naisip ko tuloy, ganon den ba ako 10 years ago?

Base sa experience ko hindi pa ganon ka bulgar o ganon ka dami ang mga butch at femme. Well madami nga, pero hindi tulad ngayon. At karamihan nang nakikilala ko alam ko may substance.My personality.Kung baga sa packaging, completo.Well di naman lahat gwapo, pero alam mo na okay sila. Hindi jologs tingnan, hindi bastusin ang mga femme. No offense, opinion ko lang sa mga pausbong na femme at butch ngayon. Mas mahalaga sakanila ang porma at ichura.

Minsan natambay ako sa may taft, isa sa mga hot spots nang mga lesbyana lalo na pag weekends. Attack of the lesbians! Lahat nang ichura, kulay, size na lesbyana makikita mo. Kung sweswertehin ka ay makikita mo may nag rarambulan pa. Ang mga femmes naman, more more kulerete sa muka. Dress to kill. Nagmistulang parang street party ang likod nang Lasalle sa dami nang mga lesbyanang naka tamboy. Nahiya ako sa suot kung black tank top at white shorts. hahaha. parang fashion victim ako. Infairness nakakatuwa silang pagmasdan. Nakakaaliw.

Nung nag punta naman ako sa isang exclusive party sa Malate (niyaya kame nang barkada ko). Kamusta naman talaga. Ako ata ang pinaka matangkad na femme nun (5'6). Kasama ko pa ang aking dateng special friend na butch (5'10 ata? o 11 sya). Twin tower? Mostly mga tao don hangang tenga o balikat ko lang. Giants? Masaya silang panoorin habang nag hihiyawan sila dahil my dance competition na nagaganap sa labas, pero napag tanto ko na hindi ko trip ang ganong crowd. Para akong nag mumurang kamatis.

Siguro kaya ako ganito dahil tumatanda na ako. Iba na kase ang priorities ko sa buhay. Iba na ang trip. Yes, I also go out with my lesbian friends. I drink, get drunk and party till the sun comes out. Hindi ko mapaliwanag pero iba lang siguro ang kinagisnan kung circle. Wild pero hindi naman ung super extreme. Madami den namang players non pero hindi naman bulgaran. Ang mga pampam, loner.. hindi pinapansin.. Sa chat, never akong nakakita nang mag post na " i need a gf anyone single?" or "hanap ka-on". Mas pines.. mas discreet..Iba ang takbo nang pakikipag relasyon noon.

Eto ay opinion ko lang naman. Hindi ko sinasabi na lahat nang bagong generation na lesbian ay katulad nang nasabi kung description. Eto lahat ay base sa obserbasyon ko, nakikita ko, napupuna.




Im getting older, Im getting wiser. Naginging conservative na ako (yak). Manang effect! amft! Pero seriously speaking, matured na ako mag isip sa madaming aspeto. Kaya siguro ganito ko icompare ang mga tomboy noon at ngayon..