In my 25 years of existence... I never met my biological father.. Well I saw him once.. in an ATM machine.. He was with his wife that time.. When we were all settled inside my cousin's car..My mom and my cousin were both laughing hysterically.. So I asked who was the man we saw earlier..At first they were both hesitant to tell me who that guy was..My mom just told me that the guy was an old neighbor..blah..blah..Then out of the blue I said "Is he my father?"..They stopped laughing and my mom said "Wala bang lukso ng dugo?"..I replied "Ah.. OK!"It took awhile for me to absorb the idea that I saw my father..Then I told my mom that I wanted to see him.. she said its fine.. So, with the help of my cousin.. I got hold of my father's mobile number and texted him.. I waited and waited..NO reply..We even passed by his office..(He's a lawyer by the way)..
I was disappointed and the same time hurt because all I wanted is for me to meet him formally..
The day we left Cagayan de Oro.. I texted him again.. I said..
The day we left Cagayan de Oro.. I texted him again.. I said..
"I'm not here to ruin your family or ask money from you.. All I wanted is to meet you.. To see you.. But I guess you don't care.. No.. you never cared"..
I left Cagayan de Oro with a broken heart.. I wanted to call my father and tell him how much I hated him.. But every time I remembered what my grand mommy told me before I left for Manila..
"Don't bother him anymore.. The people around you loves you so much..you grew up to be a fine lady.. You are strong and smart..your fine without him anyway"..
It made me realize that in my 25 years of existence, I never asked why my dad left me.. why he didn't look for me.. I never asked for support.. It never occurred in my mind that I have to see him.. to know him.. to be with him..
I looked in the mirror and touched my face... I smiled..I told my self.. In my 25 years of existence.. I never needed my father.. all I need is my mom and the people around me... They didn't reject me.. They accepted me for being me.. they love me and cared for me.. They taught me how to be brave and independent..My family.. my friends.. They are all that I need, to make my life complete..
2 comments:
I feel your pain. I did know my father -- sorta -- he divorced my mother when I was 2 and KIND OF stayed around -- then disappeared for about 8 years then sorta came around again.
I have a small unimportant relationship with him now... and you know.... as much as we try to pretend it doesn't affect us...
...it's difficult not to be hurt by the fact that this person that was instrumental in giving you life now can't give you the time of day.
hmmm.. yaan mo na yun!!! u've got yer family and fwends who loves you so very much and wont let your down gurl!!!!
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