Thank you for calling..

Agent verifying info from the customer:

Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?

Customer: No, it's B.

Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong...

-------------------------------------------------------

Agent answering a call:

Agent: Thank you for calling Dish Network Department, my name is Vince..... (sees that the number called by customer is for a different client-- a DirecTV dealer).

Customer: So, I called the wrong number then?

Agent: Let me transfer you to DirecTV please dont go.... (puts the customer on hold, and then)... Thank you for calling DirecTV Department, my name is Vince...-

-----------------------------------------------------

Agent wrapping up the sale:

Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules..

Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who's gonna call me?

Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Agent getting coupon code from customer:

Agent: Can I ask for the coupon code? It's a bunch of letters.

Customers: Like ABCs?

Agent: Yes.

Customer: Ok. ABCDEFG....

--------------------------------------------------------

Agent giving the customer service web address:

Agent: It's P- as in Papa, I- as in India, C- as in costume, U- as in you, S- as in Sam, T- as in Tango, O.... Oscar...V- for Voy...

-------------------------------------------------------------

Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion:

Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me?

Customer: Say, what?

-------------------------------------------------------------

Agent trying to upsell a warranty:

Agent: Here's an example: In California, a plane crashed into a customer's house, their dish was replaced, no questions asked!

------------------------------------------------------

Agent trying to upsell a TiVo to customer:

Agent: With a TiVo, you can do this and that, and you know, pretty much anything under the sun. Isn't that a great offer?

Customer: What?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Agent getting customer's address:

Agent: Can I have your address, please?

Customer: It's twenyfurfif-ysavan newyaorkgh road (2457 New York Road)

Agent: Can you repeat that ulit?

---------------------------------------------------------

Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:

Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?

Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!

-------------------------------------------------------

Agent verifying correct spelling:

Agent: Is that a B as in boy, or a B as in Bravo?

Customer: ...uhmmm... how about B as in Boy?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Technical Agent giving customer support:

Agent: Is the ethernet cord connected?

Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with Alabama accent)

Agent: Yung yellow cord kung nakakabit ba!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Agent from a local phone company entertaining a Visayan customer:

Customer: hillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin??

Agent: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?

Customer: Hende naman.

Agent: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?

Customer: Ang alen?

Agent: Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?

Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!

Agent: Di ba sabi mo walang ring?

Customer: Hende! yong BELL! yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!

Agent: aahhh... yung BILL?!

------------------------------------------------------

Technical Agent: To help you out with your concern, ma'am, let me just pull out my tool here, ok? (referring to a computer program used in call centers to address the customer's concerns)Customer: Pull out your what now?

--------------------------------------------------------------

Agent: Sir, that is C for Cubao, Q for Quiapo.....

Customer: What is that?! I dont understand. I don't want to talk to you.

Agent: Who do you want to talk to?

Customer: I want to talk to the highest person.

Agent: My supervisor is not available as of the moment sir.

Customer: I said, I want to talk to the highest person.

Agent: Ok, you want to talk to the highest person?

Customer: Yes!

Agent: Do you want to talk to God?

Customer: what the f***! I'd rather talk to you.

------------------------------------------------------------

Irate Customer: F***k you!

Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k you!" here...

----------------------------------------------------------------

Agent: It's C as in CAT.

Customer: what?

Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow...

-----------------------------------------------------------

Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?

Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra) like the one in the Goo?!

-----------------------------------------------------