This is my life.. part I

I was born September 5, 1983 at around twelve midnight. I was named after my grandfather Benjamin and the famous Filipino saint San Lorenzo Ruiz. People called me Jambo because my eyes were so big and I was so fat.

I grew up with my aunts and my lolo. Mom was never around that time. I would stay with may aunts during weekdays and spend Saturday and Sunday in Cubao, with my lolo and cousins. As a kid, I was always bullied by my cousins.I dont know why, but they love doing it. They wont allow me to join their game,they would tease me till I cry, they wont share their toys with me. But I never complained. I didn't fight back. I would patiently wait for them to ask me if I can join them. Back then, I was also the favorite niece (i think). Unlike my cousins, I never asked anything from them but they kept giving me cool stuff and clothes. That made me think that maybe they're jealous because of the things that I am receiving from my aunts or maybe they just don't like me that much.

When I was around five years old, I was part of a car accident. My cousins, aunts and I were going somewhere when a bus hit my uncle's pick-up car. Everything was fast phased. All I remember is I was in a cab with a stranger, my cousin beside me uncouncious, my other cousin crying and my body aching. I saw may aunt in a wheelchair blood allover her face. The next thing I know is we were being transferred to a room and everybody was looking at us.

When mom went home, my life was pretty much the same. I lived like any other kid who spends time watching cartoons and playing out in the streets. When my lolo decided that I have to go with him to Cagayan de Oro because my mom was reviewing for boards, it broke my heart. I wanted to be with my mom all the time, but I had no choice. I just obeyed everything they said.

Living in CDO was quite different. Life was much simpler. I spend most of my days reading and watching TV. My lola and lolo were already old and they were not able to take care of me that much. It was when I turned 11, I started hanging out with my schoolmates. My mom would send me allowance, a couple of hundreds i think. Instead of saving my allowance, I would go to the mall to eat out or watch a movie. As far as I remember, I used to get good grades. Me being part of the honor roll. Participating in every group contest.I was a part of the school's volleyball team.
But as i grow old I find myself asking why i feel so alone most of the time. I started not doing my homework or studying. I would just spend time with my friends. I was not happy anymore.

My lolo died when I was in grade 6, that was the second time I felt my heart break. I was a lolo's girl and accepting the fact that he is gone is quite hard. I didn't cry. I blamed myself though. How I wish I was always their for my lolo. How I wish I took care of him till his last breath. Up until now, I still wish he never died.

I finally graduated from elementary. I had to go to Manila to take some entrance exams. I was going to study in Manila. I would be living with my mom and my step dad. I wasn't excited about it. But hey, all of my classmates wanted to go to Manila and they envied me. I guess I was one lucky girl..



To be continued..